Just to be straight, this blog is totally selfish.
This is normal. We all know this. After all, the purpose of the blog medium is to broadcast your opinions, reflections and essential quotidian banalities in an unedited, uninterrupted and potentially anonymous forum. You might also make some friends, and garner some useful life advice, but at the basic level, it's as simple as blah-blah. I'm happy to be a part of this.
That's primarily because I am a twenty-something, white, upper middle class, fancy private college grad, who like many people in similar circumstances, is utterly self-obsessed. The fact that I am able to admit the former details should also clue you in to another important detail, being that I'm a girl.
I'm also an artist, which puts my ego-cell count through the roof. No more needs to be said there.
And, you know, I'm ok with all of that. Check check, check and check.
Another clarification: I do think that this activity is slightly more than peeing on the neighborhood fire-hydrants, and the occasional fine-looking tree. I actually hope to see some more unexpected returns on this venture, which is why I am here.
Through these entries I hope to:
- put some things into perspective
- incite some measure of catharsis
- simultaneously express and stave off cynicism.*
- complain unabashedly without complaints [from well-meaning but fed-up friends and family]
- realize a few things (not sure what or how)
- to have a good hearty laugh, at my own expense, more than once in a while
- try not to feel stupid most of the time and sort of sift through things before I actually blab about them to everyone I know (Dear readers, I'm using you!) (But isn't that what you want?)
-generally to feel better, be better, think better!
I suppose half of those things are somewhat healthy goals. This blog really comes at a time when I question some things about myself--like "what the hell am I doing?" and "good god, who am I?'" Yep. Here I am, kicking and screaming, but not really sure what for.
So. This will be expected, but: here I am blogosphere, I humbly submit myself to you.
* This is complicated. But it's hard dealing with all of the daily contradictions without the occasional bout of cynicism. I refuse, however to submit to such dark logic. So, better here than in the air? Again, this blog can be my litnis (SP?) test for whether I've crossed over to the dark side. Sorry I'm already sacrificing my online persona to the benefit of my real self. I don't mean to be such a user...we can work on that eventually, but this is how it's going to be for a while.
notes - Mel Chin talk at MCAD
4 weeks ago