Friday, August 24, 2012

Hussle & Flow

I have started to hussle a little more, fire under my ass to reapply to school and WIN. And the work, if you can call it that, is flowing more (and thank god!), for better or for worse.

So apologies in advance if I have been, am, or will be totally out of it as a friend, family member, or good, old-fashioned blogger, because I am putting my nose down and working my ass off, still, more, again and again, for the only thing that I so desperately want, which is to do this art thing, do it well, all the time, and do it forever and ever amen.

I will be more careful, more protective of this measly body thing that holds the crazy head of mine in place. I am eating, sleeping, exercising as best as I can...trying to earn money too...oh, and trying hard not to be a complete selfish jerk to the people I love. But all that aside, I'm obsessed, and manic, and needy.

I feel sometimes as though the world is giving me this big wall, The Great Wall of So You Want Ha, and I just keep deliriously flinging myself up against it, in total darkness, interspersed with brief, glorious moments of light. I know I can be better, work harder, do things differently. But right now, this is what I can do...

Please, please, please, please, please...

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